Brooke & Nanny |
I just want to impart a little grandmotherly advice to you as you travel the uncertain paths of the tumultuous teenage years.
Love and miss you Brooke and Lindsey.
For my readers, let me know if I missed any important points! I
am certain these translate into any language. Please also share with your teenagers.
I would love to know what they think.
Happy Mother’s Day everyone!
Everyone, don't forget to call your Moms and Grandmothers on Sunday!
Everyone, don't forget to call your Moms and Grandmothers on Sunday!
1. Mom is the Queen . . . and ruler of the Kingdom!
As ruler of the kingdom, Mom has the authority to say “Off with your Head!” or at least ground you for the remainder of your teenage life.
As ruler of the kingdom, Mom has the authority to say “Off with your Head!” or at least ground you for the remainder of your teenage life.
2. Mom is older than you
are . . . but never let on you know this! Mom likes
to think she is eternally hip and young – think Madonna - no matter how much havoc
gravity has wrought. Keep this myth alive and you will be forever in her favor!
3. Mom has the keys to
the treasury . . . she who has the gold rules! Mom has the
authority to cut your allowance! Financial independence is the ONLY way
to be the Captain of your own ship. Until you achieve that be prepared to “swab the decks and empty the slop” whenever commanded to!
4. Mom was the first one
to provide you with unconditional love . . . and will be the last! Mom has the
innate grace to love her children despite unfathomable escapades and uncouth
behavior that would wear down the patience Mother Teresa.
5. Mom will always be
your best friend . . . if and when you
grow up! Your mom is your parent by accident but your best friend by choice
- as soon as you leave the alien time-warp of teenage years and enter the brave
new world of adulthood.
6. Mom has passed this
way ahead of you . . . experience, experience, experience! Mom knows all
about how it feels to be a teenager because all your faults are the ones she
has outgrown.
7. Mom is always
watching your back . . . and everywhere else! Mom is the ultimate
superpower complete with X-ray vision, bionic hearing, extrasensory perception and
inherent omniscience (look it up)!
8. Mom knows you like a
book . . . even if you are a science
fiction horror story! Mom is like a good author who steers her characters
through the treachery, depravity and the catastrophic events of the teenage saga.
9. Mom knows she will
get even . . . when you have teenagers of your own! Payback is going to be hell!
A compassionate grandmother will help you survive.
10. Mom will push you
forward . . . and help you when you stumble! Mom knows you are capable of
100% success in all your endeavors and is always there when you spin out. Ready
with open arms to pick you up, dust you
off and send you back into life’s race again!
11. Mom understands
Panophobia . . . the fear of fear! Mom has seen it all and
in some cases done most of it. She is there to protect you while you experiment
with one abnormal persona after another on the road to finding your true self.
12. As you get older your
Mom will become smarter . . . you will actually seek her advice! Amazing
fact, grounded in research, is that Moms experience a rapid increase in their
intellectual abilities once their teenagers hit their mid-20s.
13. Mom will survive a growing
pain . . . you! Mom understands that her most difficult task is to survive babies
and teenagers . . . one disturbs your sleep, the other disturbs your life, and
that eventually both will grow up and make her proud.
14. Because Mom said so .
. . and that is that! Never under
estimate the power of the spoken word. Remember she is the monarch and you are
her subject!
Postscripts . . .
A very special Happy Mother's Day to my daughters Charlene and Cynthia and daughter-in-law Stephanie.
Thanks for all the beautiful grandchildren.
Postscripts . . .
Stephanie & Kiara |
Morgan, Riley, Charlene & Lindsey |
Maxx, Cynthia, Brooke, Gerry III |
A very special Happy Mother's Day to my daughters Charlene and Cynthia and daughter-in-law Stephanie.
Thanks for all the beautiful grandchildren.
I may not be a mother or a daughter, but I enjoyed reading this list. Much of it reminded me of my own mother, who turned eighty-seven today.
ReplyDeleteLovely post Katie. Will share with my daughters,sons as well and on twitter.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's day to you!
Hi Katie,
ReplyDeleteI laughed my way through this as I thought about my mom and read it out loud to my mother-in-law as we sat on our beds getting ready for another day of adventure in Paris. What a wonderful post!
Happy Mother's Day to you,
Anne :)
Fun to read as always, Katie. It was especially great to see your beautiful family. I know they love you very much.
ReplyDelete